Tips for the Newbie Triathlete

As promised, some inspirational words and tricks of the trade for aspiring triathletes, from one newbie to another.

·         Practice transitioning. Have a spouse, child or neighbour hose you down with a garden hose while you are in your swimsuit. Then try to get dressed as fast as possible. Repeat.

·         Practice going from one sport to another. When you get home from your bike ride, drop your bike (avoid squashing neighbourhood cats) and start running. See how long you can go before your legs conspire against you. Then keep going. Repeat.

·         Fashion choices. I laboured and debated over what to wear. Do I wear undergarments beneath my bathing suit? What kind of shirt should I wear? Are socks really necessary? I came to the following conclusions: No undergarments are better than soaking wet, chafey undergarments. My bathing suit was tight enough that undergarments were deemed unnecessary. Perhaps larger-chested women may come to a different conclusion. I chose a breathable, moisture-wicking triathlete shirt. Any old shirt probably would have been fine, but I felt deceptively more official in that one. And yes, socks are most definitely necessary. Take the time to put your socks on, your feet will thank you.

·         Hair. You may be asking “What does hair have to do with a triathlon?” Well, those that know me know that hair is something that I have a lot of. It is always a concern. I would also like to point out that you are photographed periodically throughout the race. For vanity’s sake, you may want to throw hair onto your list of considerations. Having a lot of hair, and it being long, I opted for a braid turned ponytail that survived the swim under my bathing cap quite nicely. I threw a headband on as well and after the helmet came off, I sported half-wet helmet hair with finesse. You may want to choose a hat.

·         Bike. Lament long and often your deplorable bike situation to everyone that you know with a decent bike. Surely one of those people will take pity and lend you their bike. If not, trick yours out with streamers, a basket in the front and maybe a card in the spokes. The streamers will add the appearance of going fast and distract your competitors. The basket will hold your water. The card will warn the other athletes of your impending approach. You may want to consider an orange triangular safety hazard sign also. Couldn’t hurt.

·         Hydration. Practice drinking while running. Practice drinking while biking. Then practice holding in all that liquid for a couple of hours.

·         Body Marking. Your number, event and age will be marked on your body using a permanent marker before your race. Sunscreen will remove these markings at a much faster rate than normal wear. Maybe even before your race is over. Apply your sunscreen first. If you feel the need to lie about your age, lie up. The compliments will surely flow: “Wow, you look incredible for 75!” “Good for you for doing a triathlon at your age!” Feel free to decorate the rest of your body while you have the marker in your hands. Draw all those tattoos that you thought about getting when you were younger, but didn’t. It will make you look bad-ass.

·         Race belt. Consider getting one of those belts that you can clip your race bib to so that you can flip it from your back (for the bike) to your front (for the run). This will save you time, and spare your skin from zillions of little pricks from the safety-pins that you would otherwise have to contend with.

·         Map. Get it. Read it. Know your course ahead of time. This will save you from such questions as “Am I going the right way?”,  “Where is everybody?” and  “Am I still in (insert town name)?”.

·         Goals. Make some. Go for it.

·         Enjoy. This is isn’t the Olympics, and at the risk of busting your bubble, it will likely never be. So have fun. If you have fun, you will be more likely to do it again, which will in turn help you in your quest to lead a healthier, more active life. A quest that you are no doubt already on. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

And now for those promised and no doubt highly anticipated words of inspiration. I give you...a cliché:

If I can do it, you can do it.

I mean that. If you think you don’t have time, then you won’t. You won’t have the time until you make it. If you think you can’t, then you won’t. If you think you don’t have the energy, get started anyway. The more you exercise, the more energy you will have. It is an awesome cycle. Good luck!